The same action can be dominant or submissive. For example, carrying children’s diaper bag. It was a dominant act. “You will give it to me. I carry it. I want to help you.” It was my decision and Athena had no say in it. After we decided to embark on FLR, “You keep on carrying it,” Athena would say. My discovery of dominant/submissive was how one felt, rather than what one did.